Charlz and Clement, Same-Sex Partners Embracing Authenticity in Their Legacy of Kindness

"I have considered a lot when I decided to come out, such as my job and my family.  But I know there is never a perfect timing for anything (you want to do).  That’s why I embrace my own decisions, be true to myself without regrets.  I hope to pass on this noble spirit.”
 

The sunny boy here is Charlz (Ng Cheuk-ho) who has already been successful in his early thirties.  He is the boss / owner of Hybrid Group, an event planning company that organised many large-scale events in Hong Kong like Fitness + Wellness Expo and IRIS: Your Escape, and the co-founder of the gym House of Fitness.  Positive and confident, this charming young man also has his unspeakable fears.  “The fear of coming out stemmed from my worries of what others think of me.  In the past, I would assume what they would expect from me.”
 

With his event planning expertise, Charlz helped organise the quadrennial LGBT community activities when he volunteered for the Hong Kong Gay Games 7 years ago.  Through cultural, sports and music activities, the event promoted the meaning of LGBT and the importance of the LGBT community.  He met (like-minded) people during the event who shared same concerns like hesitating whether they should join the event and worrying about how others think of them.  “The event was organised by me, I felt that I should share my experience with them, hopefully more people can cherish themselves and live without regrets.” 
 

Charlz affirmed, "After the event, I realised that I had been overwhelmed by movies or other people’s experiences.  I presumed many things, self-stereotyped and unnecessarily labelled myself.  Indeed, nobody ever changed their attitude towards me or my work.  My family was as loving and supportive.  My parents blessed me and my boyfriend (then), full of love.”  He then turned to exchange a gentle and loving look with his partner Clement.  Yes, just one look and that’s enough to feel each other’s nearness.
 

Clement and Charlz both have good auras.  Kind and positive, they always smile brightly. On the day of the interview, they were requested to arrive at the venue at 7 in the morning and nobody complained.  It is hard to imagine that Clement just recovered from a serious illness.  About a year and a half ago, he was admitted to the hospital with an urban health issue – appendicitis.  However, due to delayed diagnosis and treatment, it became acute and led to other complications.  After having his first emergency surgery, poor Clement had bacterial infections.  He then went through a second one removing his cecum and a part of the small intestine.  “How serious can an appendicitis be?” they answered with one voice.  This small thing turned into a big one which changed their lives.

"Visits were strictly prohibited not allowed during the pandemic.  I couldn’t see him in person, only FaceTime with him behind the door.  It hurt a lot,” Charlz tried his best to accommodate Clement.  He felt a bit emotional remembering the time in the hospital.  “My feelings couldn’t be described in words at all.  I wanted him to be sound and safe, I was willing to give everything for his recovery.  I know how hard it feels as I might lose something I love.”
 

Now that Clement has recovered.  But when the two looked back, they learned that many things could have been avoided.  Clement said, “I didn’t have any insurance coverage and only realised that I could have been protected with one providing emergency support and assistance when I was in the hospital.” Charlz said, “If we had had insurance coverage then, or we had known about it and prevented the problem earlier, nothing would happen like that.  It would have been a disaster if I lost the most important person to me.  It was extremely urgent and Clement needed the surgery immediately, I couldn’t think of anything at the time.  But when it’s now over and we thought about it again, I couldn’t protect him and I was really helpless.”  A resourceful veteran in the business world like him or even if it’s for a strong and tough person, it would still be very difficult to deal with the loved ones’ aging, illness and death.  Luckily, they have got strong support from their families.
 

“My family is very united, we deal with all challenges together.  Dad and mom, uncles and aunts, siblings and cousins, all of them are very supportive to Clement and me.  I knew that I wasn’t alone when Clement was in the hospital.  All of the family members went to see him.  Even if we couldn’t see him in person, we wanted him to know that we all care, love and support him.  Our sense of unity and loving spirit will be passed down from generation to generation.”
 

He continued, “My family taught me not to neglect any good deeds, even if it’s a small one.  If I see someone in need whom I don’t know, I will still give a helping hand without hesitation.  In such a hectic city like Hong Kong where things come and go in a hurry, a small kindness can actually help many – the kind-heartedness and love which I want to pass on.” 
 

Legacy is not a material thing, it’s not necessarily money or a prestigious watch.  What Charlz has in mind about meaningful legacy is rather that gentleness in dealing with others or a caring heart, which helps connect people and strengthen their selfless relationships.  “I want to share the luck, courage and my experience, hoping that everyone will be courageous to take the first step and live their true selves.”  While Clement wants to share their story to let people understand that everybody is equal and has the right to love oneself and others, to bravely embrace and express oneself, regardless of identity and gender.  

Interview by：Ivy Cheung and Alice Lee

Photography：Charles Wan